That kind of day

Will woke up last night (morning?) around 12:30am with a 103 degree fever and a horrible seal cough. Poor little guy was so sick. I ended up staying up with him until about 3:00am and then darn it if that kid wasn't up again at 6:30am (he is a creature of habit, that boy.) I called into work to let them know I would not be there and took Will to the doctor where I learned he has an ear infection and croup, so now he's on an antibiotic and a steroid. Hopefully he'll be on the mend soon! Me, on the other hand? I feel bleh myself, but I'm hoping it's just the lack of sleep. Oh, and as I was making coffee this morning, I put the mug under the spout (we have a Keurig) and turned and walked away. When I came back, there was a pool of coffee all over the counter and on the floor. Why? Seems that in my haze, I placed the mug UPSIDE DOWN. Kind of hard to get coffee into an upside down mug. I'm going to chalk this up to the lack of sleep, too, not the fact that I just turned 37. Sheesh.

Eating Crow

I took the kids this morning to get their flu shots. Will was NOT happy. I tried bribing him w/ the promise of a new toy after it was all over. He seemed like he was holding it together pretty well until we got called back into the exam room and then all bets were off. The minute the nurse walked in, he started screaming like a banshee and flailing around like a crazy person. They had to bring in another nurse to help hold him still. After what seemed like an eternity, we finally got the shot in his arm. I distinctly remember taking him to get a flu shot when he was two years old. There was an older boy in the line in front of us (this was a flu shot clinic at the peds office, so there were families waiting in line for a shot), probably the same age will is now (about five.) He was screaming and kicking and pleading with his dad while Will, my then little two year old, cried for about one second and then was distracted by the promise of a lollipop. I remember being a little smug at the time about how my son took it like a champ, much better than the older kid. Karma's a bitch. Funny how the older they get, the worse it is. They are smart enough to know that YES, it does hurt and NO, a lollipop is not going to cut it.

Words eaten. Smugness, gone.
PS: If you were wondering, Evelyn also did not do well. No lollipop could fool her either.

There is a season...

I want to write blog posts. I really do. Posts about my kids and how they are growing up too quickly and the funny and annoying things they do on a daily basis. But I just can't seem to bring myself to post the pictures and funny memories right now. And there are lots of them, especially funny--and fun--memories. We have an incredible family and group of friends. But we're also in a season of craziness, with some worry thrown in there for good measure.

Some of you may remember that my husband was diagnosed with an extremely rare little disease called Fibromuscular Dysplasia (FMD) shortly after Will was born. Google it if you want to learn all the fun facts of this not-so-funny disorder. The FMD has affected our lives on and off since. Anyway, the ol' FMD has caused some issues these last few months (I'll spare you the details) and so we are headed back to Mayo Clinic in early November (where they actually have doctors who are studying this disease and tracking people around the country who have it) for a battery of tests and examinations. This is a very good thing, because one of the challenges of having FMD is that it can affect any artery in your body, which means you may have multiple doctors with multiple specialities trying to treat your symptoms. At a place like Mayo, since they study this disease, they take a look at the holistic picture, which is hard to get otherwise.

I also worry about our kids. So little is known about FMD, it's hard to determine if it's genetic or not. And there's really no way of knowing until an event happens, which I pray never does. Hopefully the chances are slim, so that's what I focus on.

And work. Oh, work. It has been such a source of pride and stress for both of us. Bill's job is intense. He travels most weeks and works most nights and weekends (source of stress.) But he's good at what he does and has been able to advance himself (source of pride.) My job has been up and down. My boss just quit (source of stress.) They asked me to be VP of Marketing (source of pride.) I told them no to doing it long term (as you may remember, I've been working part time, and this is very much a full-time position.), but I did agree to helping out in the short term as they figure out a long-term plan. This means I'm acting VP (source of pride), but I will be working full time for a few months (source of stress.) I'm excited about the opportunity and I love my team. No doubt the next few months will be fun and challenging at the same time since this is the first time I've worked full 40 hour weeks since my kids were born.

So I'm hoping once we get through this particularly crazy season of our family life, we will return to a semblance of normal. But really, what is normal? I've come to the conclusion that this is life. The craziness, the stress, the uncertainty, the love, the excitement, the joy. I'm trying to learn to embrace that instead of waiting until things are "calm" and "normal" because I have a feeling this is what normal looks like.

I just read an article on Stephen Colbert where he discusses the deaths of his father and two older brothers in a plane crash in the 70s (who knew? And how horrible!) He was 10 years old at the time, and he recalls how he didn't really grieve fully until he was 18. Despite that, he reveals that he keeps a card on his desk that says:

"Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God."

And then he went on to say:

"Joy can be hard....it's not the same thing as happiness (citing that his wife and daughters are the source of joy in his life.) I think happiness is overrated."

I love that, and I'm so thankful for my full, joyful life, even in the times when happiness may be fleeting.

A Moment--and a Lifetime--Captured in a Picture

This picture was taken by professional photographer, Patrick Witty, on 9/11:

"I took this photograph exactly 11 years ago this morning, at 9:58 am, just as the South Tower of the World Trade Center began to collapse."

I have had a rough few days at work this week. But guess what? That doesn't matter one bit. What matters is this: Life. Death. Humanity.

We won't forget. I can't forget. Ever.

Siblings

The other day I came around the corner to find this:

They were reading a book together, with Evelyn sitting in Will's lap. Could this be any sweeter? Nope, I think not. They are finally getting to the age where they are playing together a bit. Yes, Evelyn does her fair share of annoying her older brother (like breaking his Lego car he spent an hour building) and vice versa (Will has a penchant for grabbing things out of her hand, making her scream. And hit. She is not one to be messed with.) But at heart, these two love each other. I hope they will continue to be pals as they get older. I remember when I found out I was having a girl, I was afraid they wouldn't be as close as same-sex siblings would be. And maybe they won't, but there's definitely a unique bond and a sense of protection from the older brother to his little sister (you hear that future-boyfriends-of-Evelyn? Watch out for big brother!)

Heavy Heart

I just found out one of my high school classmates was playing soccer last night and passed out on the field. Turns out he has a brain aneurysm and is on life support. It's looking like it will be a miracle if he survives. The incredibly sad part? He has two boys about the same age as my kids. I haven't seen Ed in almost 20 years, but I remember him as being funny and kind. Looking at the pictures of his two boys on Facebook breaks my heart. I can't imagine what it will be like for those two sweet faces to grow up without their dad. And it breaks my heart even more to think they may not remember their dad, if he does in fact pass.

My greatest fear in life? Losing a child. My second greatest fear? Leaving my kids behind without a mom. Especially when they are at a young age where they won't remember me and how much I love them. I can almost think of nothing worse.

Prayers to the Planche family. Prayers for healing and prayers for peace with whatever God decides is the right thing in this situation.  I'm sure Ed never thought as he headed out to that soccer game that it might be the last time he saw his family. Let's all remember that we need to treat each time like it could be the last.

Update: I'm sad to learn that Ed passed away this afternoon. My heart breaks for his family. Rest in peace, old friend.

Another Sign that I'm getting Old

I had my annual "female" exam this morning. I haven't been back to see my ob/gyn since my six-week post-partum exam after I had Evelyn; It was sort of odd to be there without a burgeoning belly. But, it was good to see Dr. Sweeney again (as good as it can be to see this sort of doctor). I started seeing her when I was pregnant with Will, so I equate her with the child-bearing time of my life. I found out today that she's retiring (she's only in her 50s) and she told me how much she was going to miss me and that I was one of her favorite patients (she even wrote on my chart "favorite" and put a star next to it for my future doctor to see. Is it wierd that my straight-A student former self felt a little bit of glee that I was the "teacher's pet"? Perhaps I need therapy...)

Anyway, Dr. Sweeney is VERY conservative and meticulous in her approach to medicine so she has all her patients over the age of 35 (ahem, me) get annual mammograms even though the recommended age is 40. So, yes folks, I have an appointment to get this rite-of-passage of all middle-aged women.  Yes, I said middle aged. Gah!

The receptionist who was helping me make my breast-mashing appointment on my way out asked me if I had breast implants. REALLY? Now, I'm sure this is a question that she has to ask everyone about to have a mammogram, but CLEARLY if she had looked at my she would have known the answer to this question. Because if the answer was yes, I obviously need to have my money back. Bwahahaha.

My Champ

Will just wrapped up his first season of soccer. Well, it wasn't really on a team, per se, because I couldn't find a soccer league in our area for kids his age. So, I found a program called Soccer Shots that teaches kids the fundamentals of soccer (so think of it like a soccer practice each week) and they end the weekly "practice" with a scrimmage. It's pretty cute to watch a bunch of 3-5 year olds running around in a big group trying to make goals (they don't understand the concept of team work or passing yet...just scoring.)

Saturday was his last session and Coach Kayla handed out certificates and medals to each kid. Needless to say, Will was super excited about getting his first "gold medal" (and I have to say I was surprised at how proud I felt watching him get that medal, even though everyone got one).  He has been proudly wearing that thing around the house non-stop.  I'm not sure if Will was enamored of soccer--I think now that he's old enough we'll try an actual soccer team this fall (too hot this summer)--but he sure is in love with that medal.

Look, mom!

Evelyn on the soccer field. "Wait, you're my age. Why do you have so much more hair?"

Sticks and stones...

I've been having to wear my glasses this past week due to conjunctivitis in both eyes (that's right: pink eye). It's not the contagious kind--it's due to allergies--but either way, not cool. Especially not cool because I am blind as a bat (been wearing glasses/contacts since I was seven) and when you are blind as a bat, it's impossible to have cute glasses. Sure, now they have great technology that makes the lenses thinner and lighter than the coke bottles I used to sport as a kid, but because of the strength of my prescription, they still make my eyes appear to be tiny, beady little things when I wear them. As such, I only wear my glasses at home or in the hospital after giving birth to my kids (and that was only twice), but NEVER in public.

Until now, thanks to the ol' rosy eye. This morning as I was walking into work, a truck full of young men drove by first asking me where the enchiladas were (?) and then yelling out "HEY, FOUR EYES!" Four eyes? Am I age 10 and is it 1953? Haha. It actually made me laugh. I'm a 36-year-old mother of two and I get called four eyes.

I think it's time for LASIK.

Easter fun...without a camera

Hello interwebs! My, how time flies. The last month has been good, but busy. SXSW, St. Paddy's (for which Billy's cousin Lorie and her friend Larry came into town), Easter, work, kids, work, kids. Repeat.

We had a great Easter w/ my family. We spent it in Georgetown at my parent's house and my sister and her family came down from Dallas (well, Lewisville) to celebrate with us. We colored eggs, made a bunny cake, had an Easter egg hunt, went to church (Will did GREAT. I think it had to do w/ the fact that he was sitting between his two older cousins and wants to do whatever they do. Evelyn? Lasted about half way through and then daddy walked w/ her in the vestibule the rest of the time) and just hung out. It's so great because my nieces are 13 and almost 16 and Will LOVES them. Fortunately they are troopers and don't mind playing hide and seek with him 1034 times.

Here are a few pics from the weekend:

Bunny cake! My niece, Kara, saw the recipe for the cake that my mom has had for years (pulled from a magazine). I told Kara that grandma used to make this cake when I was a kid and she said "oh, that's why this recipe looks so old."

Right before the egg hunting began. (Thanks Hayley and Kara for "accidentally" not seeing all the eggs so Will could find some)

This is a terrible picture of Evelyn and sadly the only one I got. I forgot the camera and only had my iPhone (who am I kidding? I only ever take pictures with my iPhone these days). This was after church and she was SO OVER IT at this point. Which is too bad because this dress from her Godmother Kerri is adorable. I need to get the pictures my dad took WITH A REAL CAMERA since I'm a LAZY iPHONE PICTURE-TAKING MOM.

Mom, will I ever have my picture taken with something that does not make phone calls?

PayPal + Tabbedout

We announced our partnership with PayPal today--yay! Feels like we are putting on our big boy pants at Tabbedout. Weeks of hard work and planning went into pulling this announcement off (public relations, marketing campaigns, website, messaging, events). Just to give you some perspective, I was up until 2:00am working last night (okay, granted it was because I screwed something up on our website and I was trying to get it fixed) and back up at it again at 6:00am making sure everything was ready before the press release went out. Pay your tabs with PayPal and Tabbedout!

Thoughts from a Part-time Working/Stay-at-home Mom

It's been a while since I've discussed work on this blog. I tend to use this forum as a baby book of sorts for my kids (since Lord knows I am not with it enough to actually record things in a REAL baby book). But sometimes I want to talk about non-mommy sorts of things, too, so here goes.

If you all remember, I started this job at Tabbedout when I was five months pregnant with Evelyn (and apparently I was a little CRAZY at that time, too--who starts a new job while pregnant? Oh, yeah. Me.) It was hellacious at first since I was the only marketing person. But, when I came back from maternity leave, I got a new boss and a new team and it has been awesome since then. I get to work part-time (love that they allow me this flexibility) and do work that I enjoy (PR, marketing, branding). This is a tough job. We are a small, scrappy start-up with so much opportunity (and challenges) facing us that sometimes it's hard to catch your breath. But my marketing team rocks, ya'll. They are some of the brightest, most hard-working people I've had the pleasure of working with. Getting to market a consumer product is much more fun than trying to make something like network management B2B software sound exciting. Because it's really not.

So, I really do love where I work. But it is an interesting thing to be a mom who works part-time (see? It always comes back to the kids.) I feel like I have the best of both worlds--working in a field that I enjoy AND getting a couple of days to stay home with the kids. I sort of have my foot in two worlds: the stay-at-home mommy world and the working mom world. But only part-time in both. So sometimes I feel like I don't fit in on either side. I'm not home enough to join mommy groups and really get involved in those types of activities (there's a moms' group I used to meet at the park in our neighborhood, but they changed their meeting days to Thursdays and I work on Thursdays. So, no longer a part of that one). I probably feel more like a working mom than a stay-at-home one because my job does consume more of my time than just the hours I'm in the office (evenings and nap times are taken up with returning work emails and finishing projects I couldn't get to in the office). But it is an interesting thing to see both sides of the coin and experience both sides of the coin. I'm not sure I could do either side of the coin full-time, so for me, this is my ideal situation.

Not to say there aren't challenges. I have work events I sometimes have to attend in the evenings, and with SXSW Interactive coming up (and with my company planning many events around that), things will be even more crazy. Bill travels quite a bit for work so I'm often left scrambling for a sitter when I have to be out at night. But it's fun. And I like the juggle (most of the time). Would things be easier if I stayed home full time or worked full time? Sure. Because then I could focus my attention a little better than my current ADD style. But would I find it to be as fun and fulfilling? Probably not.

So I feel fortunate to be where I'm at--crazy as it is at times--bouncing back and forth between my two, sweet worlds.

Just for grins

I've got so many things I want to blog about and catch up on (like the fact that my daughter turned one, um, three weeks ago. Oops.), but until I get my act together, here's a quick video that is clear evidence as to why this parenting thing is so worth it. Happy Valentine's!

And she's off....

Evelyn has been taking a few steps here and there for a while now, but today was the first time I've seen her walk several steps at a time over and over. GAME ON. (Oh, and her brother took his first steps when we held out a piece of cheese to him. What motivated her tonight was her brother's sippy cup of orange juice. I'm detecting a theme here...). Evelyn is 11 months, 2w5d old.

Before I forget...

It's been a long day of car shopping (my VW Passat competely died after 10 years and the cost to get it running again is $5200. Ouch.) and dealing with a sick baby. But before I stumble into my bed, I had to note that this morning as we were headed out the door to car shop, I asked Will if he was ready to go. He replied, "ready as a whistle!"

Close. So close. :)

Randoms: 4-yr check-up, sweet boy and news flash: holy @#$! this time of year is insane.

Will had his four-year check up this morning and ouch, literally. I'd been warned by other moms that this appointment would be full of shots and it was. I gave Will a heads up that this would be coming so he wasn't totally caught off guard, but that didn't seem to help much. He had to get four shots, two in each thigh. This isn't all that much more than what they get as babies, but when you're four, you are a lot stronger, know that's going on and can try like hell to scream and kick your way out of it. Overall, he did pretty well and I'm glad it's over. Other than flu shots, no more shots for him until he turns 11! (wow). Oh, and Will is tall. He's 42 1/2 inches tall, which is the 90th percentile for height at his age. Not surprising given that his dad is a giant himself.

This morning I turned on some Christmas tunes. I was feeding Evelyn breakfast and Will was sitting in the living room listening to the music. While he's a lot like his daddy, there are some things he does that are so much like me when I was his age. I used to love sitting and listening the the record player (date myself much?) for hours, especially when it came to Christmas music. He's the same way. He just sat and listenend and sang when he knew a song. Jingle Bells came on and I heard his little voice signing along and it was so sweet. Christmas music makes me feel verklempt anyway and hearing him sing that song made me choke up like a little girl.

So I'm trying to remember sweet moments like this are really what this season is about because, Lord, this time of year is cra-zay. I know we all say this every year and blah, blah, we all know the drill: Christmas shopping, cards, decorating, traveling for the holidays, etc. On top of that, work is especially busy right now w/ new product launches and some awesome things happening--all so much fun, but oh, so much work. And more work. So between work and more work and Christmas and spending time w/ family and friends, I'm glad I have little moments like hearing Will sing Jingle Bells that remind me to take a step back and be thankful.

The Big 0-4

My little man turns four today. Four. He is no longer a baby or toddler with squishy, plump fingers and a big round face. He's a full-fledged little boy with long and lanky legs, a lean face and a heart of gold. I look at pictures of him from just a year or two ago and my heart aches a bit for that toddling baby. But watching him grow up into a boy and the man he'll eventually become makes me so happy and proud. What a bittersweet thing this parenthood bit is.

We had a party for Will at the Austin Children's Museum yesterday and he had a blast. He had 15 friends show up along w/ my parents and Billy's dad. This was his first real "kid" party and he was so happy. He said "thank you for planning such a fun party, mommy," afterwards and it made me smile (and thanks to all our friends for coming out to help us celebrate!).

Today we are hanging around w/ Papa Bill who came all the way from Illinois for the big day and then we are heading to a friend's party (who's also turning four) at Chuck E. Cheese. Will is about as excited for this as he was his own party. We've never been to the CEC, but I have a feeling this won't be our last (God help us).

Will, you are such a sweet, funny and smart little boy who likes to keep his parents on their toes. You love rocket ships and outer space and trucks and cars (typical boy). You build amazing things with Legos (namely rocket ships, trucks and cars) and love to play outside and rough-house w/ your sister (more than mommy would like, but at least she'll be tough!). When we go places, you always want to know if there will be kids there and you easily make new friends (at any playground, party, restaurant, etc. you will walk up and make friends w/ any kid remotely around your age. I remember being really afraid to do that at your age, so that makes me proud). Thanks for making our family complete! We love you so much.

Evelyn: Nine Months

Well I completely missed the eight-month update and photo (hey, 8 out of 9 ain't bad), so here's Evelyn's nine-month update:

Smiley (and completely bald) girl

Hey mom--what's that up there?
Why, I believe it's a ceiling fan--look!
So to start off, Evelyn has learned to point. This literally started the day she turned nine months. I was standing with her in the kitchen showing her the colorful lights above our island and she raised her tiny hand and pointed at them. Since then we've been pointing at pretty much everything on the ceiling: fans, lights, crown molding. I'm not sure she realizes that she can point at anything--it doesn't have to be six feet above the ground.

Evelyn has eight teeth now with a ninth (molar) coming in. I know this may sound crazy to some of you, but Will was the same way. I'm expecting she'll have a full set of teeth by the time she turns one like he did.

She's now eating three solid meals a day and her consumption of formula/breast milk has gone way down. She'd rather eat her food at this point instead of drink it, except in the evenings before bed time when she still wants a full bottle. And the breastfeeding is winding down. Since I work part-time and she gets bottles at school, she prefers to drink from a bottle now. She fusses when I try to breastfeed her unless she's super tired. And I hate pumping. Especially when I have to do it at work where I'm so busy that taking the time every few hours to pump is challenging. So I've sort of let it go and our breastfeeding sessions have pretty much waned to once in the morning and once at night. I have mixed feelings about this. Since I'm pretty positive she's my last baby, I'm sort of sad to let it go. But on the flip side it'll be nice to have the freedom not to worry about pumping or having that second glass of wine.

She's crawling all over the place and still getting into EVERYTHING. Girl almost choked on a piece of Luna Bar wrapper her brother left on the floor. And she's pulling up now, so we really have to watch what's in her reach. Oh, and she's pretty darn brave. She's already let go of the table to stand for a few seconds on her own and when she falls she just laughs. I think having an older brother who sort of manhandles her has made her tough, which is good I suppose.

She's still sleeping through the night unless she's sick. Which is pretty much every week. I HATE cold and flu season. When your little one is in daycare two days a week, they catch pretty much every germ that comes through that place. I remember the same thing w/ Will the first year he was in school. She's already had a stomach bug, several colds, fevers, ear infections, etc. The good news is in about a year she'll have an immune system of steel like her brother, but in the meantime, it's pretty painful for all of us. I LOVE my job, but I HATE this part (and unfortunately, paying for a nanny is not realistic on a part-time salary and I do love the school the kids go to.) Already looking forward to spring when the germies aren't so bad.

Overall she's just a happy, fun baby. Hard to believe we're closing in on her first year already.

One last birthday thought...

It's been a loooong day w/ the kids (both of them have been sick on and off the last two weeks, I've missed days of work, I'm behind on EVERYTHING). It's my birthday and I just drank one Coors Light and I'm buzzed (one beer?) and all I want to do is go to bed as soon as the kids go to bed. At like 8:00. That's my dream right now. It sounds better than any night out partying. And THAT, my friends, is how I know I'm getting old.

Who can count THAT high?

Today is my birthday. I am 36. Closing in on 40. When I told Will how old I was turning today his response was:

"36?!?! That's SUPER big!"

Indeed.

RIP Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs, co-founder and CEO of Apple, died yesterday. I know this is common knowledge, but I feel like I need to record this moment somewhere so I can remember this day. I'm surprised at how emotional I feel over this loss, but when I look back, I realize Steve Job's influence has been with me over the course of my entire life: the MAC computer we used to use in the back of the room when I was in grade school, the computers I used throughout college and my first job out of school, the iMac, the iPhone, the iPad. My three-year-old son uses Apple products like they are second nature. And that's because they are designed to be that way. (I remember one time I was using my Dell laptop and Will walked up to the screen and started poking at it with his finger and trying to "swipe" things to make it work. I had to explain to him that THIS laptop did not operate like the iPad. He looked baffled). So thank you, Steve Jobs, for changing technology and the way we interact with it for the better. And for being such an inspiration to me and the next generation to come.

RIP Steve Jobs. Your passion, genius and innovation will be missed.

Down for the Count

The stomach flu has descended upon the Fanning household. It started with little Miss. E. I got a call on Thursday from her daycare that she was projectile vomiting. Have you ever seen an eight month old projectile vomit? It's a sad, sad sight. Poor baby was so sick all day Thursday--dry heaves and all. Fortunately, by night time she seemed to have gotten it out of her system and slept soundly that night. She was mostly back to herself the next day. Friday went by without incidence and by Saturday, I thought we were in the clear. Whoo, boy, that was an incorrect assessment.

Saturday afternoon I started to feel a little "off". I thought it was from the spoonfuls of peanut butter and chocolate chips I had inhaled earlier (yeah, I have a thing for chocolate and peanut butter, but not so much anymore, so maybe it was a blessing in disguise). Billy and Will had gone off for the afternoon on a friend's boat and they came back around 8:00 that evening. I had just put Evelyn to bed and told Billy I was headed there myself. One hour later I was up, getting sick. And at the exact same time, Will had gotten up and was getting sick on the other side of the house. Fortunately, Billy was not yet affected and was able to handle Will. The rest of the night was a blur of restless sleep and runs to the bathroom. You know, one of those nights when you don't care that your head is resting on your filthy toilet or that you are lying on your hair-ridden bathroom floor.

Fortunately, both Will and I were feeling better by the next day. Unfortunately, Billy woke up this morning feeling ill, so I called off the babysitter and stayed home from work to watch Evelyn. No need to expose more people to the germs festering in our house.

Is this a little preview of what the cold and flu season has to offer us? I call uncle. UNCLE.

Evelyn: Six and Seven Months

Evelyn is going to be eight months (eight months!) next week already, so I figured I'd better get her six and seven month pictures up now so as not to be a total blog failure.

It's hard to get the little squiggle butt to sit still for pictures these days.

It's been a busy couple of months for Evelyn. During months six and seven:

--She's learned how to crawl. Fast. She started crawling slowly and using her head as leverage at six months. By seven months, she started hoofing it all over the house. Time to put those outlet plugs back in. Which she wants to put in her mouth. Which leads me to...
--She loves to put EVERYTHING in her mouth. Cords, cat fur, food, toys, random pieces of lint on the floor (which may or may not include cat liter). Will did not do this. Perhaps Will was not normal. But this constant putting of things in the mouth is going to give me a heart attack. Or just a lot of stress. Which leads me to...
--She is already trying to pull herself up. If we let her hang on to something, she'll stand for a while by herself. And we have one of those video monitors where I can see her in her crib and the little toot is in there scooting over to the side of the crib, trying to stand up. Or escape. Or a combination of the two. Will did not do this. Will slept in his crib until he was three years old without ever trying to climb out of it one single time. I believe that Evelyn will be trying to do the get-out-of-crib shimmy within the next few months. This too will give me a heart attack.
--Evelyn is happy. I mean she is smiley. I know I've mentioned this before, but I cannot stress this enough. She really is a very easy going kid. She only cries if she's really tired or hungry. And that's despite the fact that she has been sick a couple of times (with sore throat, fever, etc.) and the fact that she has six teeth.
--Six teeth! Yes, she has six teeth, with a seventh coming in already. Will did do this. Perhaps my kids are not normal. Both of them had six teeth by six months (and Will had a full set of chompers by the time he was one). And yes, she has bitten me while breastfeeding. When she first started getting teeth, there were several occasions when she used me as a chew toy. I came thisclose to calling it quits on the breastfeeding at that point. But, one time it caught me so off guard and hurt so badly I shouted really loudly and I think it scared her and we've only had one or two instances since then.
--Sleep is happening in the Fanning household. I finally had to Ferberize her (for those of you sans kids, it's basically a method of letting the baby cry w/ you going in at set intervals to reassure baby you are still there, but you aren't going to feed him/her). It was getting to the point where Evelyn was waking up every two hours and this went on for months, and her pediatrician flat out told me she didn't need to be waking anymore for nutritional purposes and I probably needed to do some sleep training (had to do it w/ Will, too). One especially brutal night after she got up every one to two hours, I hit the wall. I had to get up, go to work and I was spent and out of whack and crying. So, I started immediately. That first night she cried for two hours. The next night 30 minutes and then? SLEEP. She has since started sleeping 10-11 hours straight through! It. is. glorious. We [read: mommy] are much happier.
--Solid food: She is now eating 2-3 meals a day. At first, she HATED solids. HATED. No matter what I tried (cereal, fruit, veggie, etc.), she would gag, spit up and cry. This went on for a few weeks and I was at my wits end. I just kept at it and finally she started accepting more and more things (I think she just had to get used to the texture). Now I can't get the girl to stop. At meal times, she'll screech until I spoon more food in her mouth.

Love this girl. She is definitely going to keep me on my toes (somewhere my mom is silently laughing...)

Three is the new Two

Will is three. Actually, he'll be four in November, although sometimes it feels like he's three going on sixteen. This three-year-old thing is not for the faint of heart, my friends. It is a mixed bag of really incredible, awesome times watching your child's humour, intellect and wonder and understanding about the world grow and really not fun, frustrating times watching your child throw tantrums, huff and roll eyes like a teenager and not listen to anything you have to say. I've had so many parents tell me that two was not so terrible, it was three. And I have to say, three has definitely kept me on my toes.

Will is so smart, ya'll. I know all parents say that and perhaps it's just this age when they really start to comprehend things and think about things on a different level. I mean, this kid knows all his letters and numbers, spells out words when he sees them, loves to learn about outer space and can tell you all the planets in order (seriously, he knows more about outer space than I do. Did you know Jupiter is so big that 1000 earths could fit inside it? Yeah, me neither.), speaks very clearly and with a big vocabulary (the other day he used the word "debonair") and just is a very thoughtful, little boy with a lot going on in that noggin. Mind you, I don't take a lot of credit for this--I think most of this he learned at school (shout out to the Children's Center of Austin--holla!), but the way he thinks about things amazes me. And It's so fun to have conversations with him and watch his little world open up.

But sometimes he's too smart for his own good. We have lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth when he doesn't want to do something we ask him to do (and it usually takes asking at LEAST five times before he'll do it, generally with me yelling "WILL!" to finally get him to listen. Great parenting, I know). And he'll bargain and reason with the best of them until he wears me down to a little nub. Oh, and the hyperactivity. Will has always been a relatively calm and sweet boy, and for the most part, he still is. But when he gets excited he becomes a little spaz and cannot calm down and well, becomes slightly annoying (mainly this happens when we have company at our house and he keeps insisting they come play with him over and over).

This parenting thing has become a game of chess. I make one move and he makes another in a completely different direction. Babyhood was so much easier for this very reason. Yes it was exhausting physically, but now it's exhausting mentally. I love my little boy oh so very much and I love watching him become the person he will be as an adult. But I hadn't anticipated three being so challenging. I guess I need to keep my guard up, because me thinks it won't necessarily get easier--just different with each age.

Oh, and to prove that I'm not all up on my high horse about my son being SO smart, yesterday we were driving to Panera for lunch. I looked in the rear view mirror and Will had a very thoughtful and pensive look on his face, like he was contemplating something very important. When I asked him what he was thinking about, he told me "hot dogs and cinnamon rolls". Obvs, we have a genius on our hands....ha!

Communion: A fun game for a rainy day!

Friday when Evelyn was napping, Will told me he wanted to play "church" (which is funny b/c I've been bad about taking him to church lately because, well, have you ever taken a three year old to mass? If you have, then you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, stop judging). He then proceeded to put pieces of gum into a tupperware bowl and told me I had to line up so he could give me the "bread". Then he took one of his lego towers that he built and told me it was the wine and that I couldn't drink it, but needed to give it to the people who were lined up.

Brings back memories of the days when my sisters and I would do the whole pretend communion thing w/ Necco Wafers. Ah, the circle of life.

Houston, we have contact...

Well folks, 2 1/2 months have passed since my last blog post. How did that happen? I would like to say that it's because of work craziness (mine and my husband's), or the trip to Minnesota for my uncle's funeral, or the week-long visit from my two sisters in May, or the hectic life of a mom with two kids, or our neighbors and dear friends moving back to Boston and the going away parties that ensued, or getting ready for Evelyn's baptism, or hanging out with friends, or Evelyn starting daycare two days a week and catching two colds already, or the lack of sleep that has put the kibosh on my blog posts. And that would be partly true. Partly. But mostly it's because I've been lazy. Yep. Just haven't felt like it. So there you have it.

To get us caught up, I thought I would start with Evelyn's 4 & 5 month photos. She's now 5.5 months old, and here's what she's up to these days:

-Sleep: No bueno, folks. Her brother was a much better sleeper by this age. She is (mostly) on a regular nap schedule at home: one short one in the morning, and a longer one in the afternoon (w/ a short cat nap sometimes in the evenings). At school she takes small catnaps throughout the day (I guess being in a room w/ five other babies makes it difficult to snooze for long). She's going to bed earlier (usually somewhere between 8:30-9:30, which is a big improvement over the 10:30-11:30 bedtime we used to have), but still wakes up at least once a night to eat. Sometimes twice. I think a little sleep training a la Ferber is in order mighty soon, but I'm not sure how to do that w/ another kid in the house that might be woken up by said sleep training. We shall see. Mama needs more sleep. (Although I have to say I'm surprised at how well I function on less sleep this time around, especially since I'm working, even if it is only part-time.)

-Eating: We are still breastfeeding and it's going well. She does get some formula because I can't pump enough to give her all breast milk while I'm at work. When we're home, though, it's Boobie Fest 2011. I still haven't started her on solids, although I did try to give her some cereal a few weeks ago. She wanted none of it. None. of. it.

-Growth and such: She's got a big head like her brother did--95 percentile at her 3 month appointment. Oh, and her weight was in the 75 percentile, so big there too. Her height? Not so much. 25 percentile. My 6'7" husband was shocked. I think he assumed our kids would automatically be amazons like him.

She's also getting two teeth on the bottom. I noticed them for the first time last week. Will had two teeth by four months, so I wasn't surprised that she was getting them already. I just had no idea because she didn't get fussy or complain about them at all. She is one happy (albeit drooly) baby.

She's rolling all over the place, is starting to sit up on her own, can scoot forward a little bit and grabs things and puts them directly into her mouth. It seems like her development has been on warp speed, probably because I want her to stay little longer.

-Disposition: Happy, smiley. All the time. She is one chill baby.

Also, she and Will are pals. She thinks he is hilarious and lights up when he's around. He thinks she's hilarious and like to make her laugh by doing things like rocking her too hard, pushing toys into her face and screaming loudly. Gentle is not in his vocabulary (although it's in mine. Constantly. I think I say that to him at least 504 times a day when it comes to the baby. I'm tired of hearing myself say it, really. Maybe that's why he's tuned me out...hmmm...)

So here are her 4 & 5 month photos, and one of her and her brother cuddling together. Now let's consider ourselves caught up, mkay?


As you can see, she discovered her feet. And made taking these pictures even harder...

Sweet siblings.

Evelyn: Three Months

Evelyn turned three months old last Friday (oops, late again). Time sure does fly with the second baby. I remember with Will it seemed like those early months moved at a slow, sleep-deprived crawl, but with Evelyn it's like time is on fast forward. Since I know she's my last baby, I'm really trying to enjoy each moment.

Here's what she's up to these days:
-Cooing galore. This girl loves to talk. Sometimes after I'm done feeding her she'll just sit in my lap and we'll have a chat for about 10 minutes. Oh, and speaking of feeding, she's very aware of her environment now. So instead of eating, she wants to look around or look up at me and "talk". I've tried throwing blankets over her head (sort of like a bird in a cage) to get her to focus and eat, but it doesn't work. She just wants to look at the blanket instead.
-Giggling. That just started last week--really might be the cutest sound around. No really.
-Holding her head up. No more bobble head.
-Trying desperately to sit up, but still has a few more months before that happens. I think.
-Drooling and gnawing on her hand. That just started. Please don't let it be a tooth already (Will had two teeth at four months and six teeth by six months. This breastfeeding mama would really appreciate it if that didn't happen this time around, mmmmkay?)
-Sleep. Sort of. She's now doing about a six hour stretch at the beginning of the night and then another 3-4 hours afterwards (then eats again and goes back to sleep until 9:00am). Sometimes she'll even give me an eight or nine hour stretch. Those are lovely nights. She's still a total nightowl (goes to bed around 10:00) and then likes to sleep in...must reverse this.
-Naps. We're starting to get a little more normal here, but still need to work on it. She usually takes one around 11:00, then another around 2:30 and then maybe a shorter one around 4:30. Can't wait until we really have this nailed down.

Happy three months, Evelyn!

Heartfelt

Good Lord things are crazy busy between work, company all last week (Billy's bro and his family were in town--good times with an update to come soon), packing for Illinois where we are headed tomorrow for my mother-in-law's 60th birthday (happy birthday Pam!) and caring for two kids all at the same time. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed and overextended and over-tired. But then I take a deep breath and think about how oh, so lucky, how very blessed I am. These two kids, ya'll, man do I love them (tantrums and poopie diapers and all). Sometimes so much it makes my heart ache. So in lieu of bitching about all the "stuff" going on in my life, I wanted to leave you with these songs that seem to say it better than I can.

This one makes me think of my sweet boy. And this one and this one make me think of my sweet girl.

So very lucky, indeed.

Hi ho, hi ho...

I started back to work this past week. Granted, I'm working from home for the month of April, but it's work nonetheless. I had my misgivings about going back because, if you remember, this job--while a great opportunity--was sort of driving me nutso before I went on maternity leave. I was working part-time but they really needed a full-time person. Or three. So the thought of jumping back into that craziness was not appealing. Don't get me wrong: I want to work (part-time), think this company is very cool and has amazing potential, but coming home stressed and in tears was not something I could continue to do, particularly with a new baby on board.

I have a new boss who started the same day I went back to work (last Monday). Turns out he's great. He is a true marketer at heart. Not just a sales person or ops person doing marketing on the side. He gets it. He wants to hire two more people. Love.

I am excited to be back. It's nice to be in the mix of things again, using my brain in a non-mom capacity and having the flexibility to work part-time and be home part-time. And like I said, the company is way cool (check out tabbedout.com if you want to see where I spend these 20 hours a week). But, ask me how I feel in another month when I have to go into the office and leave Evelyn in someone else's care. NOT looking forward to that.

Summer Haircut

Apparently someone came and took my baby boy and replaced him with this big boy. Can you please bring the baby boy back, even just for a little bit? Mmmkay? Thanks.

A Close Call or "Mommy's Just Not Ready for this Yet"

Today I was driving to the lab to get my blood drawn (have to do that once a week since I'm on still on blood thinner) with Evelyn and Will in the back seat. Will is a very inquisitive three year old. We get the typical "why" questions all the time and it's amazing what his little brain contemplates. On the way to the lab we saw all sorts of bluebonnets growing along the side of the road. I pointed them out to Will and he asked me his usual "where does XX come from?" question (he asks this about everything: "mommy, where do strawberries come from? Where do cars come from? Where does cereal come from?") So today it was "mommy, where do bluebonnets come from?"

After I explained to him they come from a seed that grows in the ground, his next question caught me off guard.

"Mommy, where do people come from?". Uh, um, whaa? I was afraid of where this line of questioning was going.

"They come from mommies and daddies," I responded, hoping that would be enough.

"They come from mommies and daddies?"

"Yes. Remember your baby sister grew in mommy's uterus?" (if you remember, Will was fascinated with the uterus while I was pregnant).

"Does daddy have a uterus?"

"Um, no. Only mommies have a uterus."

Pause.
Pause.
Me sweating it wondering what the next question would be.....

"Mommy, can I have a lollipop at the doctor?"

Relief.

Thank God my three year old is still satisfied with basic answers. I have a feeling as he gets a little older, I won't get off so easy. My sister told me my now 15-year-old niece started asking similar questions at a very young age and by the time she was five and started asking very pointed questions, my sister finally broke down and had to give her a g-rated explanation. I sure hope my husband is prepared with his response when that day comes... ;)

Evelyn: Two Months

Evelyn turned two months last Tuesday (so I'm a little late getting this one out there). She is just a sweet, sweet baby. All smiles (unless she's hungry or tired) and pretty laid back. She still doesn't sleep great, but we are starting to get longer stetches for the first part of the night (usually around five hours, but sometimes only four and one time six--that was heaven) and then she eats and goes back to sleep for about another three hours. The only problem is she goes to bed so late--around 10:30 or 11:00! We've tried putting her down earlier, shortening naps, etc., but she just likes to be up late and sleep until 8:00am. This will have to change when I start work again. And, we are starting to get some semblance of a routine. Her naps are getting more regular and predictable which is great. I never thought I'd say it, but I love predictability. It makes me a happy, happy woman.

We are so glad to have this little girl in our lives. Can't wait to watch her grow!

Randoms

Germs: We are still sick over here. Will now has a flu-like virus. Joy. Billy's been traveling for work, so between the baby being up at night and Will hacking up a lung every five minutes,well, let's just say mama has some major black circles under her eyes.
Milestones: I forgot to mention this when it happened, but Evelyn started REALLY smiling at three weeks and cooing at four weeks. So cute! Makes the aforementioned black circles worthwhile.
Guilt: I've been letting Will watch WAY too much tv lately. Why? Husband out of town, baby not sleeping and sickness. The baby sleeps until 8:00, Will wakes up at 6:30. Enter tv so mama can doze a little longer. I'm pretty sure he knows the songs to every show on Nick Jr and Disney Jr. And maybe even some on BBC Kids. Bad, bad mommy.
Big boy: Will looks so grown up to me. He's just getting taller and more boyish every day. He loves to play with big kids. We went to the park the other day and he was following around a group of kids that were probably five or six. It sort of breaks my heart to see him try so hard to play with them. Granted, he could care less at this point, but I know the day will come when he'll feel left out of something or some kid will be mean to him, etc. It happens to all of us at some point. And it kills me to think about it. PS: Note to self: Buy your big boy some new pants. It doesn't help his cause when he's running around the playground wearing pants that look like he's waiting for the next great flood to come.

Sick babies and itchy bums

I had one of *those* mornings today. The kind when having two young kids sort of knocks you on your arse. Billy's out of town for work (and will be traveling for a day or two most weeks--whaa!) So, I was on baby duty all last night (usually he'll take the baby for me in the late evening so I can go to bed and get SOME sleep before she wakes up again). Then I got the 6:30am wake up call from Mr. Will (again, usually Billy manages Will in the morning so I can sleep in for another hour or so) and the day began. I noticed Evelyn was pretty congested again, so I called the pediatrician and got an appointment for 9:15 this morning. The rush began to get her fed, Will fed, me dressed (no shower mind you--greasy hair and face for me), and baby's diaper changed all the while asking Will 108 times to put on his shoes and socks.

So we get the doctor's office and while the pediatrician is examining Evelyn, Will shouts out "I need to go poopy!" Perfect. The doctor was sweet enough to watch Evelyn while I took Will to the bathroom. Since I was in a rush to get back, I didn't, um, wipe him as well as I normally would. We get back to the exam room and find out Evelyn does indeed have some sort of cold and an ear infection (for those of you keeping score, this makes two bouts of sickness in her short little six-week life).

We finally get loaded back into the car. Evelyn was screaming at the top of her lungs, wanting to be fed, while Will was screaming, "My booty itches! My booty itches!" all the way home.

I just had to laugh. Yes, the laugh of a crazy person, but laugh nonetheless....

Evelyn: One Month Update

Evelyn, one month and two days. (I did buy those cute sticker things for subsequent months, but didn't have them in time for this picture, hence the homemade sign. Cut me some slack.)


Big girl in a rare moment of wide-eyed alertness

Dear interweb friends (all three of you)--thank you for sticking around while I get my act together long enough to write a blog post. Sheesh. You would think I have two kids or am running on very little sleep or dealing with a baby with reflux or something like that. Anyway, our little Evelyn Jane is now five weeks old as of this past Saturday (cue in the "where does the time go" line of thinking). Fortunately, her bout with RSV was pretty mild. She still has some congestion and we still do breathing treatments w/ the nebulizer as needed, but no fever, no secondary infections, no hospitalization. We feel very fortunate because my husband's boss and his wife had a son a few days after we had Evelyn and their baby ended up in the hospital due to RSV. He has been on life support for three weeks, but the good news is he seems to have turned the corner and is starting to recover--it was looking sort of dicey for a while there. So, needless to say, we are so blessed and lucky it didn't go down that path for us.

Here in bullet points are a few things, thoughts and learnings from the last month:

1) Managing baby the second time around is not so hard as the first time, but having two kids is hard. Duh, brilliant revelation huh? The first time around going from no kids to one kid is pretty life altering and scary. The second time around you are much more relaxed and know what you are getting into. But, the second time around you have another kid to take care of. The whole "take a nap when the baby naps" thing? Yeah, that's pretty much impossible when you have a preschooler running around all day long. Or waking you up at 6:30am after you've been up with the baby all night. The sleep deprivation is definitely more acute.

2) Having a three year age difference between the kids is a blessing and a curse. It's great because Will is potty trained, can do things on his own, can help me with basic things as needed (can you go get mommy a diaper?), etc. The downside is that he is old enough to want to go, go, go all the time. Sitting in the house all day while mommy nurses is boring and causes said three year old to be cranky. Thank God he goes to preschool two days a week for his sanity and mine. Also, since Will is almost three and a half, he's starting to drop his nap. He used to be a regular 2-3 hour an afternoon sleeper, but now I'm lucky if it's an hour or so. Again, this leaves no time to "nap while the baby naps" or get much done during the day.

3) Speaking of Will, he's been great with the baby. I mean, there's not a ton of interaction yet, but he always tells me, "mommy, I love my baby" and loves to give her kisses. Of course there are those moments when he says, "daddy, give that baby to mommy and let's go play", but overall he's adjusted pretty well.

4) Evelyn is a sweet baby. She pretty much only cries when she's hungry. She's still not a great sleeper, but it's getting better. At first she would only do two hour stretches at night, but now her first stretch is about four hours. Then she's up to eat and goes back to sleep for another two hours. I'm still exhausted, but at least I'm getting SOME sleep, even if it is broken sleep.

5) She has reflux like her brother did. She's gotten to the point where she cries when she tries to eat and breastfeeding is getting challenging b/c the position she's in hurts vs. being upright for a bottle. She started out on Zantac and that didn't work so we're moving on up to Prevacid. Let's hope it works!

6) I've become a veritable germaphobe. I became one when I had Will but now it's even more protracted. Because Will brings home germs from daycare, I am paranoid about what she's being exposed to. I make Will take a bath right when he gets home from school in hopes of scrubbing away some of those germs. It's clear that keeping baby #2 germ-free is going to be much more challenging than baby #1 (case in point, RSV at two weeks of age).

7) I'm trying to learn how to juggle two kids by myself and manage to get at least a few things accomplished each day (the never-ending laundry, dinner prep, keeping house picked up). It feels like an unending battle to keep up w/ the simplest of home-related tasks, which means I never get around to other tasks I want to do (i.e, blogging). I'm sure this will always be a struggle, but hopefully I'll get better at it over time.

8) Nursing is going much better this time around. I didn't have a very good experience with Will. He never latched on well and I didn't produce much milk despite help from lactation consultants, taking fenugreek and drinking Mother's Milk tea, pumping around the clock, etc. It was stressful and upsetting for the six months I managed to keep at it (all the while needing to supplement with formula). Evelyn latches on well (although she's not a great "sucker" and eats very slowly) and my milk production is better. I still end up having to supplement a bit (I can feed her for more than an hour and she's still hungry), but not nearly as much as I did with Will. I'm nervous about going back to work and having to pump. I don't get much milk when I pump (maybe an ounce total), so I hate to see her consumption of breast milk go down. I need to start stockpiling now (but did I mention how much I HATE pumping?).

9) I don't know how single parents do it. On the days when I'm home with both kids, I'm ready to let my husband immediately take over by the end of the day. And he helps me with all the household chores and takes over the late evening feeding so I can get some sleep. I honestly don't know how I'd do it without him and I would definitely be in the loony bin if I was doing this alone. Like I said, huge props to single parents.

10) Losing the baby weight is going to be harder this time around, I can tell. Despite the breastfeeding, the weight is not dropping off the way it did the first time and my stomach seems much squishier (I guess being stretched to the gills twice really does a number on the old abdominals). Yes, I've lost a little more than half the weight, but I now seem to be stuck. I lost most of the weight the first two weeks and that's it. I'm going to have to really step up my exercise and eating right game if I ever hope to fit into my old clothes again.

Overall, we are doing well. We have our good days and we have our "challenging" days, but I know how fast this will all go and I'm trying to really enjoy this phase. With Will I dealt with some post-partum depression and really didn't get to enjoy his newborn phase as much as I wish I had. I've still had a bit of the baby blues this time around, but not as badly. I know how lucky and blessed we are to have two beautiful, healthy kids. What's there to be sad about--other than the loss of sleep?

Jumping Ahead: Sick Baby

So it's been a month since I've posted and most of you know by now that sweet baby Evelyn Jane Fanning made her appearance into this world two weeks early, which meant no pain meds for me during delivery (major, major ouchie). She'll be three weeks old on Saturday and I've been meaning to finish drafting her birth story and write posts about the lack of sleep, challenges of rearing two children, breastfeeding woes and triumphs, etc. But all of that will have to wait because it turns out baby E has RSV. RSV. I can't believe it. I've been so paranoid about her getting sick (with an older child in the house, it's almost impossible to stop the onslaught of germs that aren't there when you only have one baby), and now she gets the big whammy of baby illnesses. At less than three weeks old.

If you aren't familiar w/ RSV, it's basically a respiratory infection that kids under three are very suseptible to. In adults, it's generallly just a cold, but in babies, especially babies this young, it can be bad. It can turn into pneumonia and if accompanied by a fever, it generally means hospitalization in an infant this young. I noticed baby E was having a hard time nursing last night (sounded congested, was making snorting sounds out of her mouth) and again this morning, so I took her to the doctor. I was shocked when the RSV test came back positive. Her pediatrician wants us to come back tomorrow and monitor her very closely and if anything changes (more congestion or difficulty breathing, difficulty eating, appearance of a fever), Evelyn will be the winner of a trip to the Dell Children's Hospital. We will be doing breathing treatments every three hours to help her little lungs. Hopefully this will go away on it's own in one to two weeks.

So there you have it. Not quite three weeks old and already sick. I feel like a horrible parent. And I hate this time of year (flu and cold season). People, have your babies in the summer when there are less germs. Makes life easier.

37 weeks

Wow. How did I get to 37 weeks already? Technically I still have three weeks until my due date, but I found out yesterday that if baby girl doesn't come by January 28th (which is two weeks from tomorrow for those of you counting), I'm being induced at 39 weeks. Why am I being induced early? So the doctors can control my labor since I'm on blood thinner. The goal is to take me off the blood thinner for 24 hours and then bring me in the next day for the induction. It's not a good thing to have blood thinner in your system during delivery because of the risk of heavy bleeding or worse. But what REALLY scares me about the potential of being on blood thinner when I go into labor? The fact that when you have blood thinner in your system, you CAN'T get an epidural. Yep. I would have no choice but to go au natural. And folks, I love me some epidural. I am no super woman. In fact, I am a total, utter wienie. With Will I lasted all of about one hour without an epidural before crying for one and professing my love to the anesthesiologist as he was poking a huge needle in my spine which offered immediate relief. I was able to enjoy the birth process after that. So yes, I have huge respect for women who do it without meds, but I do not want to be one of them. Thus, I hope I make it to the planned induction date so I can get off the blood thinner and get me some drugs.

There has been so much going on last few weeks, hell, months. This pregnancy has been so different in so many ways. First, I didn't go into pre-term labor with baby girl like I did with Will, so that's good. But I have had the DVT (blood clot) issue, which has been new. And a royal pain in my arse. I have four different doctors I have to see each week plus weekly sonograms to check on baby girl (since I'm on meds) and every-other-day blood draws to make sure my blood isn't too thin or thick. This week alone I had 11--ELEVEN!!!--doctors appointments. So basically I spend my time at work, frantically trying to wrap things up before I go on maternity leave or else at some doctors office. I'm sad that I'm not getting to spend as much time as I'd like with Will before it's no longer just the two of us on my days off. He's been pawned off on babysitters and daycare as I run around from appointment to appointment and I really want to just be home with him and relish his last few weeks as an only. Alas, it's not to be.

Also, when I was pregnant with Will, I wasn't working at the end and obviously, I didn't have another child to run after. So the end of my pregnancy last time was a lot more restful. This time I feel frazzled and tired. And besides work and doctors, I still have a mile-long to do list that needs (okay, that I want) to get done before the baby comes. That means I have two weeks to do all this, people. I'm torn between my nesting urges and wanting to get it all done and just wanting to, well, lie down and sleep. And spend time with Will. And my husband. Because once the baby comes a whole new set of craziness will descend upon our sweet little family of three, making it an even sweeter family of four, but a different family, nonetheless (and a sleep-deprived one at that). So I want to enjoy what we have right now for these last two weeks. And to get off this crazy merry-go-round I feel like I've been on the last few months.

PS: Did I mention baby girl will be here in two weeks? TWO WEEKS! (or at least, please don't come for two more weeks, baby girl, okay? Mommy would appreciate it very much.)

And for your viewing pleasure, here's a montage of pics showing my ever-expanding waistline throughout this pregnancy (looking forward to seeing my toes again in a few weeks):

24 weeks, 5 days

26 weeks, 5 days

30 weeks, 2 days

32 weeks, 3 days


somewhere between 33-34 weeks (um, can you tell I just woke up in this one?)


36 weeks, 5 days (taken two days ago)

The Holidays in Pictures

So after I spent three days in the hospital for the blood clots, I got out of the hospital two days before Christmas and then spent the next week with my family for the holidays (I'm still giving myself shots of blood thinner in the stomach twice a day. Picture a large, vein-laden eight month pregnant belly with track marks down each side--HOT.) Anyway, We spent the holiday with my family this year (which was nice, since my parents live in Georgetown--no way I would be traveling far at eight months pregnant anyway). We had 13 people under one roof at my parent's house. Tight quarters, but fun to spend the time together, especially with my sister and her family from Oregon (we don't get to see them much, as you can imagine).

To risk being THAT person that traps you in their living room and makes you watch videos of their vacations, here is an amazingly long string of pictures from Thanksgiving, Will's birthday, Christmas and New Year's (namely because I'm too lazy to write about all of it.) Happy New Year, all!

Will and his Fanning second cousins at Thanksgiving in Dallas

More second cousins...

On our way home from Dallas with Billy's parents and granny. We stopped at Babe's Chicken (DELISH!) and gorged on fried chicken because we hadn't eaten enough the day before on Thanksgiving....


Will's birthday with both sets of grandparents and granny



Will and granny at the County Line (his birthday dinner)
Family pic...


Walkway of lights in Marble Falls after which we ate at the infamous Bluebonnet Cafe (DELISH!) and gorged on chicken fried steak and pie because apparently we hadn't eaten enough on Thanksgiving or the ensuing two weeks afterward...



Decorating the tree...


Will, his DeWenter cousins (a.k.a. babysitters--it was glorious to have them around for a week) and grandma and grandpa on Christmas Eve....

Opening presents Christmas morning

New Year's Eve at the Hoseks (along with the Carls, Keathleys and Knebels): Kids partying in one room
Adults partying in the other room