That kind of day

Will woke up last night (morning?) around 12:30am with a 103 degree fever and a horrible seal cough. Poor little guy was so sick. I ended up staying up with him until about 3:00am and then darn it if that kid wasn't up again at 6:30am (he is a creature of habit, that boy.) I called into work to let them know I would not be there and took Will to the doctor where I learned he has an ear infection and croup, so now he's on an antibiotic and a steroid. Hopefully he'll be on the mend soon! Me, on the other hand? I feel bleh myself, but I'm hoping it's just the lack of sleep. Oh, and as I was making coffee this morning, I put the mug under the spout (we have a Keurig) and turned and walked away. When I came back, there was a pool of coffee all over the counter and on the floor. Why? Seems that in my haze, I placed the mug UPSIDE DOWN. Kind of hard to get coffee into an upside down mug. I'm going to chalk this up to the lack of sleep, too, not the fact that I just turned 37. Sheesh.

Eating Crow

I took the kids this morning to get their flu shots. Will was NOT happy. I tried bribing him w/ the promise of a new toy after it was all over. He seemed like he was holding it together pretty well until we got called back into the exam room and then all bets were off. The minute the nurse walked in, he started screaming like a banshee and flailing around like a crazy person. They had to bring in another nurse to help hold him still. After what seemed like an eternity, we finally got the shot in his arm. I distinctly remember taking him to get a flu shot when he was two years old. There was an older boy in the line in front of us (this was a flu shot clinic at the peds office, so there were families waiting in line for a shot), probably the same age will is now (about five.) He was screaming and kicking and pleading with his dad while Will, my then little two year old, cried for about one second and then was distracted by the promise of a lollipop. I remember being a little smug at the time about how my son took it like a champ, much better than the older kid. Karma's a bitch. Funny how the older they get, the worse it is. They are smart enough to know that YES, it does hurt and NO, a lollipop is not going to cut it.

Words eaten. Smugness, gone.
PS: If you were wondering, Evelyn also did not do well. No lollipop could fool her either.

There is a season...

I want to write blog posts. I really do. Posts about my kids and how they are growing up too quickly and the funny and annoying things they do on a daily basis. But I just can't seem to bring myself to post the pictures and funny memories right now. And there are lots of them, especially funny--and fun--memories. We have an incredible family and group of friends. But we're also in a season of craziness, with some worry thrown in there for good measure.

Some of you may remember that my husband was diagnosed with an extremely rare little disease called Fibromuscular Dysplasia (FMD) shortly after Will was born. Google it if you want to learn all the fun facts of this not-so-funny disorder. The FMD has affected our lives on and off since. Anyway, the ol' FMD has caused some issues these last few months (I'll spare you the details) and so we are headed back to Mayo Clinic in early November (where they actually have doctors who are studying this disease and tracking people around the country who have it) for a battery of tests and examinations. This is a very good thing, because one of the challenges of having FMD is that it can affect any artery in your body, which means you may have multiple doctors with multiple specialities trying to treat your symptoms. At a place like Mayo, since they study this disease, they take a look at the holistic picture, which is hard to get otherwise.

I also worry about our kids. So little is known about FMD, it's hard to determine if it's genetic or not. And there's really no way of knowing until an event happens, which I pray never does. Hopefully the chances are slim, so that's what I focus on.

And work. Oh, work. It has been such a source of pride and stress for both of us. Bill's job is intense. He travels most weeks and works most nights and weekends (source of stress.) But he's good at what he does and has been able to advance himself (source of pride.) My job has been up and down. My boss just quit (source of stress.) They asked me to be VP of Marketing (source of pride.) I told them no to doing it long term (as you may remember, I've been working part time, and this is very much a full-time position.), but I did agree to helping out in the short term as they figure out a long-term plan. This means I'm acting VP (source of pride), but I will be working full time for a few months (source of stress.) I'm excited about the opportunity and I love my team. No doubt the next few months will be fun and challenging at the same time since this is the first time I've worked full 40 hour weeks since my kids were born.

So I'm hoping once we get through this particularly crazy season of our family life, we will return to a semblance of normal. But really, what is normal? I've come to the conclusion that this is life. The craziness, the stress, the uncertainty, the love, the excitement, the joy. I'm trying to learn to embrace that instead of waiting until things are "calm" and "normal" because I have a feeling this is what normal looks like.

I just read an article on Stephen Colbert where he discusses the deaths of his father and two older brothers in a plane crash in the 70s (who knew? And how horrible!) He was 10 years old at the time, and he recalls how he didn't really grieve fully until he was 18. Despite that, he reveals that he keeps a card on his desk that says:

"Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God."

And then he went on to say:

"Joy can be hard....it's not the same thing as happiness (citing that his wife and daughters are the source of joy in his life.) I think happiness is overrated."

I love that, and I'm so thankful for my full, joyful life, even in the times when happiness may be fleeting.

A Moment--and a Lifetime--Captured in a Picture

This picture was taken by professional photographer, Patrick Witty, on 9/11:

"I took this photograph exactly 11 years ago this morning, at 9:58 am, just as the South Tower of the World Trade Center began to collapse."

I have had a rough few days at work this week. But guess what? That doesn't matter one bit. What matters is this: Life. Death. Humanity.

We won't forget. I can't forget. Ever.

Siblings

The other day I came around the corner to find this:

They were reading a book together, with Evelyn sitting in Will's lap. Could this be any sweeter? Nope, I think not. They are finally getting to the age where they are playing together a bit. Yes, Evelyn does her fair share of annoying her older brother (like breaking his Lego car he spent an hour building) and vice versa (Will has a penchant for grabbing things out of her hand, making her scream. And hit. She is not one to be messed with.) But at heart, these two love each other. I hope they will continue to be pals as they get older. I remember when I found out I was having a girl, I was afraid they wouldn't be as close as same-sex siblings would be. And maybe they won't, but there's definitely a unique bond and a sense of protection from the older brother to his little sister (you hear that future-boyfriends-of-Evelyn? Watch out for big brother!)

Heavy Heart

I just found out one of my high school classmates was playing soccer last night and passed out on the field. Turns out he has a brain aneurysm and is on life support. It's looking like it will be a miracle if he survives. The incredibly sad part? He has two boys about the same age as my kids. I haven't seen Ed in almost 20 years, but I remember him as being funny and kind. Looking at the pictures of his two boys on Facebook breaks my heart. I can't imagine what it will be like for those two sweet faces to grow up without their dad. And it breaks my heart even more to think they may not remember their dad, if he does in fact pass.

My greatest fear in life? Losing a child. My second greatest fear? Leaving my kids behind without a mom. Especially when they are at a young age where they won't remember me and how much I love them. I can almost think of nothing worse.

Prayers to the Planche family. Prayers for healing and prayers for peace with whatever God decides is the right thing in this situation.  I'm sure Ed never thought as he headed out to that soccer game that it might be the last time he saw his family. Let's all remember that we need to treat each time like it could be the last.

Update: I'm sad to learn that Ed passed away this afternoon. My heart breaks for his family. Rest in peace, old friend.

Another Sign that I'm getting Old

I had my annual "female" exam this morning. I haven't been back to see my ob/gyn since my six-week post-partum exam after I had Evelyn; It was sort of odd to be there without a burgeoning belly. But, it was good to see Dr. Sweeney again (as good as it can be to see this sort of doctor). I started seeing her when I was pregnant with Will, so I equate her with the child-bearing time of my life. I found out today that she's retiring (she's only in her 50s) and she told me how much she was going to miss me and that I was one of her favorite patients (she even wrote on my chart "favorite" and put a star next to it for my future doctor to see. Is it wierd that my straight-A student former self felt a little bit of glee that I was the "teacher's pet"? Perhaps I need therapy...)

Anyway, Dr. Sweeney is VERY conservative and meticulous in her approach to medicine so she has all her patients over the age of 35 (ahem, me) get annual mammograms even though the recommended age is 40. So, yes folks, I have an appointment to get this rite-of-passage of all middle-aged women.  Yes, I said middle aged. Gah!

The receptionist who was helping me make my breast-mashing appointment on my way out asked me if I had breast implants. REALLY? Now, I'm sure this is a question that she has to ask everyone about to have a mammogram, but CLEARLY if she had looked at my she would have known the answer to this question. Because if the answer was yes, I obviously need to have my money back. Bwahahaha.

My Champ

Will just wrapped up his first season of soccer. Well, it wasn't really on a team, per se, because I couldn't find a soccer league in our area for kids his age. So, I found a program called Soccer Shots that teaches kids the fundamentals of soccer (so think of it like a soccer practice each week) and they end the weekly "practice" with a scrimmage. It's pretty cute to watch a bunch of 3-5 year olds running around in a big group trying to make goals (they don't understand the concept of team work or passing yet...just scoring.)

Saturday was his last session and Coach Kayla handed out certificates and medals to each kid. Needless to say, Will was super excited about getting his first "gold medal" (and I have to say I was surprised at how proud I felt watching him get that medal, even though everyone got one).  He has been proudly wearing that thing around the house non-stop.  I'm not sure if Will was enamored of soccer--I think now that he's old enough we'll try an actual soccer team this fall (too hot this summer)--but he sure is in love with that medal.

Look, mom!

Evelyn on the soccer field. "Wait, you're my age. Why do you have so much more hair?"

Sticks and stones...

I've been having to wear my glasses this past week due to conjunctivitis in both eyes (that's right: pink eye). It's not the contagious kind--it's due to allergies--but either way, not cool. Especially not cool because I am blind as a bat (been wearing glasses/contacts since I was seven) and when you are blind as a bat, it's impossible to have cute glasses. Sure, now they have great technology that makes the lenses thinner and lighter than the coke bottles I used to sport as a kid, but because of the strength of my prescription, they still make my eyes appear to be tiny, beady little things when I wear them. As such, I only wear my glasses at home or in the hospital after giving birth to my kids (and that was only twice), but NEVER in public.

Until now, thanks to the ol' rosy eye. This morning as I was walking into work, a truck full of young men drove by first asking me where the enchiladas were (?) and then yelling out "HEY, FOUR EYES!" Four eyes? Am I age 10 and is it 1953? Haha. It actually made me laugh. I'm a 36-year-old mother of two and I get called four eyes.

I think it's time for LASIK.

Easter fun...without a camera

Hello interwebs! My, how time flies. The last month has been good, but busy. SXSW, St. Paddy's (for which Billy's cousin Lorie and her friend Larry came into town), Easter, work, kids, work, kids. Repeat.

We had a great Easter w/ my family. We spent it in Georgetown at my parent's house and my sister and her family came down from Dallas (well, Lewisville) to celebrate with us. We colored eggs, made a bunny cake, had an Easter egg hunt, went to church (Will did GREAT. I think it had to do w/ the fact that he was sitting between his two older cousins and wants to do whatever they do. Evelyn? Lasted about half way through and then daddy walked w/ her in the vestibule the rest of the time) and just hung out. It's so great because my nieces are 13 and almost 16 and Will LOVES them. Fortunately they are troopers and don't mind playing hide and seek with him 1034 times.

Here are a few pics from the weekend:

Bunny cake! My niece, Kara, saw the recipe for the cake that my mom has had for years (pulled from a magazine). I told Kara that grandma used to make this cake when I was a kid and she said "oh, that's why this recipe looks so old."

Right before the egg hunting began. (Thanks Hayley and Kara for "accidentally" not seeing all the eggs so Will could find some)

This is a terrible picture of Evelyn and sadly the only one I got. I forgot the camera and only had my iPhone (who am I kidding? I only ever take pictures with my iPhone these days). This was after church and she was SO OVER IT at this point. Which is too bad because this dress from her Godmother Kerri is adorable. I need to get the pictures my dad took WITH A REAL CAMERA since I'm a LAZY iPHONE PICTURE-TAKING MOM.

Mom, will I ever have my picture taken with something that does not make phone calls?

PayPal + Tabbedout

We announced our partnership with PayPal today--yay! Feels like we are putting on our big boy pants at Tabbedout. Weeks of hard work and planning went into pulling this announcement off (public relations, marketing campaigns, website, messaging, events). Just to give you some perspective, I was up until 2:00am working last night (okay, granted it was because I screwed something up on our website and I was trying to get it fixed) and back up at it again at 6:00am making sure everything was ready before the press release went out. Pay your tabs with PayPal and Tabbedout!

Thoughts from a Part-time Working/Stay-at-home Mom

It's been a while since I've discussed work on this blog. I tend to use this forum as a baby book of sorts for my kids (since Lord knows I am not with it enough to actually record things in a REAL baby book). But sometimes I want to talk about non-mommy sorts of things, too, so here goes.

If you all remember, I started this job at Tabbedout when I was five months pregnant with Evelyn (and apparently I was a little CRAZY at that time, too--who starts a new job while pregnant? Oh, yeah. Me.) It was hellacious at first since I was the only marketing person. But, when I came back from maternity leave, I got a new boss and a new team and it has been awesome since then. I get to work part-time (love that they allow me this flexibility) and do work that I enjoy (PR, marketing, branding). This is a tough job. We are a small, scrappy start-up with so much opportunity (and challenges) facing us that sometimes it's hard to catch your breath. But my marketing team rocks, ya'll. They are some of the brightest, most hard-working people I've had the pleasure of working with. Getting to market a consumer product is much more fun than trying to make something like network management B2B software sound exciting. Because it's really not.

So, I really do love where I work. But it is an interesting thing to be a mom who works part-time (see? It always comes back to the kids.) I feel like I have the best of both worlds--working in a field that I enjoy AND getting a couple of days to stay home with the kids. I sort of have my foot in two worlds: the stay-at-home mommy world and the working mom world. But only part-time in both. So sometimes I feel like I don't fit in on either side. I'm not home enough to join mommy groups and really get involved in those types of activities (there's a moms' group I used to meet at the park in our neighborhood, but they changed their meeting days to Thursdays and I work on Thursdays. So, no longer a part of that one). I probably feel more like a working mom than a stay-at-home one because my job does consume more of my time than just the hours I'm in the office (evenings and nap times are taken up with returning work emails and finishing projects I couldn't get to in the office). But it is an interesting thing to see both sides of the coin and experience both sides of the coin. I'm not sure I could do either side of the coin full-time, so for me, this is my ideal situation.

Not to say there aren't challenges. I have work events I sometimes have to attend in the evenings, and with SXSW Interactive coming up (and with my company planning many events around that), things will be even more crazy. Bill travels quite a bit for work so I'm often left scrambling for a sitter when I have to be out at night. But it's fun. And I like the juggle (most of the time). Would things be easier if I stayed home full time or worked full time? Sure. Because then I could focus my attention a little better than my current ADD style. But would I find it to be as fun and fulfilling? Probably not.

So I feel fortunate to be where I'm at--crazy as it is at times--bouncing back and forth between my two, sweet worlds.

Just for grins

I've got so many things I want to blog about and catch up on (like the fact that my daughter turned one, um, three weeks ago. Oops.), but until I get my act together, here's a quick video that is clear evidence as to why this parenting thing is so worth it. Happy Valentine's!

And she's off....

Evelyn has been taking a few steps here and there for a while now, but today was the first time I've seen her walk several steps at a time over and over. GAME ON. (Oh, and her brother took his first steps when we held out a piece of cheese to him. What motivated her tonight was her brother's sippy cup of orange juice. I'm detecting a theme here...). Evelyn is 11 months, 2w5d old.

Before I forget...

It's been a long day of car shopping (my VW Passat competely died after 10 years and the cost to get it running again is $5200. Ouch.) and dealing with a sick baby. But before I stumble into my bed, I had to note that this morning as we were headed out the door to car shop, I asked Will if he was ready to go. He replied, "ready as a whistle!"

Close. So close. :)

Randoms: 4-yr check-up, sweet boy and news flash: holy @#$! this time of year is insane.

Will had his four-year check up this morning and ouch, literally. I'd been warned by other moms that this appointment would be full of shots and it was. I gave Will a heads up that this would be coming so he wasn't totally caught off guard, but that didn't seem to help much. He had to get four shots, two in each thigh. This isn't all that much more than what they get as babies, but when you're four, you are a lot stronger, know that's going on and can try like hell to scream and kick your way out of it. Overall, he did pretty well and I'm glad it's over. Other than flu shots, no more shots for him until he turns 11! (wow). Oh, and Will is tall. He's 42 1/2 inches tall, which is the 90th percentile for height at his age. Not surprising given that his dad is a giant himself.

This morning I turned on some Christmas tunes. I was feeding Evelyn breakfast and Will was sitting in the living room listening to the music. While he's a lot like his daddy, there are some things he does that are so much like me when I was his age. I used to love sitting and listening the the record player (date myself much?) for hours, especially when it came to Christmas music. He's the same way. He just sat and listenend and sang when he knew a song. Jingle Bells came on and I heard his little voice signing along and it was so sweet. Christmas music makes me feel verklempt anyway and hearing him sing that song made me choke up like a little girl.

So I'm trying to remember sweet moments like this are really what this season is about because, Lord, this time of year is cra-zay. I know we all say this every year and blah, blah, we all know the drill: Christmas shopping, cards, decorating, traveling for the holidays, etc. On top of that, work is especially busy right now w/ new product launches and some awesome things happening--all so much fun, but oh, so much work. And more work. So between work and more work and Christmas and spending time w/ family and friends, I'm glad I have little moments like hearing Will sing Jingle Bells that remind me to take a step back and be thankful.

The Big 0-4

My little man turns four today. Four. He is no longer a baby or toddler with squishy, plump fingers and a big round face. He's a full-fledged little boy with long and lanky legs, a lean face and a heart of gold. I look at pictures of him from just a year or two ago and my heart aches a bit for that toddling baby. But watching him grow up into a boy and the man he'll eventually become makes me so happy and proud. What a bittersweet thing this parenthood bit is.

We had a party for Will at the Austin Children's Museum yesterday and he had a blast. He had 15 friends show up along w/ my parents and Billy's dad. This was his first real "kid" party and he was so happy. He said "thank you for planning such a fun party, mommy," afterwards and it made me smile (and thanks to all our friends for coming out to help us celebrate!).

Today we are hanging around w/ Papa Bill who came all the way from Illinois for the big day and then we are heading to a friend's party (who's also turning four) at Chuck E. Cheese. Will is about as excited for this as he was his own party. We've never been to the CEC, but I have a feeling this won't be our last (God help us).

Will, you are such a sweet, funny and smart little boy who likes to keep his parents on their toes. You love rocket ships and outer space and trucks and cars (typical boy). You build amazing things with Legos (namely rocket ships, trucks and cars) and love to play outside and rough-house w/ your sister (more than mommy would like, but at least she'll be tough!). When we go places, you always want to know if there will be kids there and you easily make new friends (at any playground, party, restaurant, etc. you will walk up and make friends w/ any kid remotely around your age. I remember being really afraid to do that at your age, so that makes me proud). Thanks for making our family complete! We love you so much.

Evelyn: Nine Months

Well I completely missed the eight-month update and photo (hey, 8 out of 9 ain't bad), so here's Evelyn's nine-month update:

Smiley (and completely bald) girl

Hey mom--what's that up there?
Why, I believe it's a ceiling fan--look!
So to start off, Evelyn has learned to point. This literally started the day she turned nine months. I was standing with her in the kitchen showing her the colorful lights above our island and she raised her tiny hand and pointed at them. Since then we've been pointing at pretty much everything on the ceiling: fans, lights, crown molding. I'm not sure she realizes that she can point at anything--it doesn't have to be six feet above the ground.

Evelyn has eight teeth now with a ninth (molar) coming in. I know this may sound crazy to some of you, but Will was the same way. I'm expecting she'll have a full set of teeth by the time she turns one like he did.

She's now eating three solid meals a day and her consumption of formula/breast milk has gone way down. She'd rather eat her food at this point instead of drink it, except in the evenings before bed time when she still wants a full bottle. And the breastfeeding is winding down. Since I work part-time and she gets bottles at school, she prefers to drink from a bottle now. She fusses when I try to breastfeed her unless she's super tired. And I hate pumping. Especially when I have to do it at work where I'm so busy that taking the time every few hours to pump is challenging. So I've sort of let it go and our breastfeeding sessions have pretty much waned to once in the morning and once at night. I have mixed feelings about this. Since I'm pretty positive she's my last baby, I'm sort of sad to let it go. But on the flip side it'll be nice to have the freedom not to worry about pumping or having that second glass of wine.

She's crawling all over the place and still getting into EVERYTHING. Girl almost choked on a piece of Luna Bar wrapper her brother left on the floor. And she's pulling up now, so we really have to watch what's in her reach. Oh, and she's pretty darn brave. She's already let go of the table to stand for a few seconds on her own and when she falls she just laughs. I think having an older brother who sort of manhandles her has made her tough, which is good I suppose.

She's still sleeping through the night unless she's sick. Which is pretty much every week. I HATE cold and flu season. When your little one is in daycare two days a week, they catch pretty much every germ that comes through that place. I remember the same thing w/ Will the first year he was in school. She's already had a stomach bug, several colds, fevers, ear infections, etc. The good news is in about a year she'll have an immune system of steel like her brother, but in the meantime, it's pretty painful for all of us. I LOVE my job, but I HATE this part (and unfortunately, paying for a nanny is not realistic on a part-time salary and I do love the school the kids go to.) Already looking forward to spring when the germies aren't so bad.

Overall she's just a happy, fun baby. Hard to believe we're closing in on her first year already.

One last birthday thought...

It's been a loooong day w/ the kids (both of them have been sick on and off the last two weeks, I've missed days of work, I'm behind on EVERYTHING). It's my birthday and I just drank one Coors Light and I'm buzzed (one beer?) and all I want to do is go to bed as soon as the kids go to bed. At like 8:00. That's my dream right now. It sounds better than any night out partying. And THAT, my friends, is how I know I'm getting old.

Who can count THAT high?

Today is my birthday. I am 36. Closing in on 40. When I told Will how old I was turning today his response was:

"36?!?! That's SUPER big!"

Indeed.