Evelyn: One Month Update

Evelyn, one month and two days. (I did buy those cute sticker things for subsequent months, but didn't have them in time for this picture, hence the homemade sign. Cut me some slack.)


Big girl in a rare moment of wide-eyed alertness

Dear interweb friends (all three of you)--thank you for sticking around while I get my act together long enough to write a blog post. Sheesh. You would think I have two kids or am running on very little sleep or dealing with a baby with reflux or something like that. Anyway, our little Evelyn Jane is now five weeks old as of this past Saturday (cue in the "where does the time go" line of thinking). Fortunately, her bout with RSV was pretty mild. She still has some congestion and we still do breathing treatments w/ the nebulizer as needed, but no fever, no secondary infections, no hospitalization. We feel very fortunate because my husband's boss and his wife had a son a few days after we had Evelyn and their baby ended up in the hospital due to RSV. He has been on life support for three weeks, but the good news is he seems to have turned the corner and is starting to recover--it was looking sort of dicey for a while there. So, needless to say, we are so blessed and lucky it didn't go down that path for us.

Here in bullet points are a few things, thoughts and learnings from the last month:

1) Managing baby the second time around is not so hard as the first time, but having two kids is hard. Duh, brilliant revelation huh? The first time around going from no kids to one kid is pretty life altering and scary. The second time around you are much more relaxed and know what you are getting into. But, the second time around you have another kid to take care of. The whole "take a nap when the baby naps" thing? Yeah, that's pretty much impossible when you have a preschooler running around all day long. Or waking you up at 6:30am after you've been up with the baby all night. The sleep deprivation is definitely more acute.

2) Having a three year age difference between the kids is a blessing and a curse. It's great because Will is potty trained, can do things on his own, can help me with basic things as needed (can you go get mommy a diaper?), etc. The downside is that he is old enough to want to go, go, go all the time. Sitting in the house all day while mommy nurses is boring and causes said three year old to be cranky. Thank God he goes to preschool two days a week for his sanity and mine. Also, since Will is almost three and a half, he's starting to drop his nap. He used to be a regular 2-3 hour an afternoon sleeper, but now I'm lucky if it's an hour or so. Again, this leaves no time to "nap while the baby naps" or get much done during the day.

3) Speaking of Will, he's been great with the baby. I mean, there's not a ton of interaction yet, but he always tells me, "mommy, I love my baby" and loves to give her kisses. Of course there are those moments when he says, "daddy, give that baby to mommy and let's go play", but overall he's adjusted pretty well.

4) Evelyn is a sweet baby. She pretty much only cries when she's hungry. She's still not a great sleeper, but it's getting better. At first she would only do two hour stretches at night, but now her first stretch is about four hours. Then she's up to eat and goes back to sleep for another two hours. I'm still exhausted, but at least I'm getting SOME sleep, even if it is broken sleep.

5) She has reflux like her brother did. She's gotten to the point where she cries when she tries to eat and breastfeeding is getting challenging b/c the position she's in hurts vs. being upright for a bottle. She started out on Zantac and that didn't work so we're moving on up to Prevacid. Let's hope it works!

6) I've become a veritable germaphobe. I became one when I had Will but now it's even more protracted. Because Will brings home germs from daycare, I am paranoid about what she's being exposed to. I make Will take a bath right when he gets home from school in hopes of scrubbing away some of those germs. It's clear that keeping baby #2 germ-free is going to be much more challenging than baby #1 (case in point, RSV at two weeks of age).

7) I'm trying to learn how to juggle two kids by myself and manage to get at least a few things accomplished each day (the never-ending laundry, dinner prep, keeping house picked up). It feels like an unending battle to keep up w/ the simplest of home-related tasks, which means I never get around to other tasks I want to do (i.e, blogging). I'm sure this will always be a struggle, but hopefully I'll get better at it over time.

8) Nursing is going much better this time around. I didn't have a very good experience with Will. He never latched on well and I didn't produce much milk despite help from lactation consultants, taking fenugreek and drinking Mother's Milk tea, pumping around the clock, etc. It was stressful and upsetting for the six months I managed to keep at it (all the while needing to supplement with formula). Evelyn latches on well (although she's not a great "sucker" and eats very slowly) and my milk production is better. I still end up having to supplement a bit (I can feed her for more than an hour and she's still hungry), but not nearly as much as I did with Will. I'm nervous about going back to work and having to pump. I don't get much milk when I pump (maybe an ounce total), so I hate to see her consumption of breast milk go down. I need to start stockpiling now (but did I mention how much I HATE pumping?).

9) I don't know how single parents do it. On the days when I'm home with both kids, I'm ready to let my husband immediately take over by the end of the day. And he helps me with all the household chores and takes over the late evening feeding so I can get some sleep. I honestly don't know how I'd do it without him and I would definitely be in the loony bin if I was doing this alone. Like I said, huge props to single parents.

10) Losing the baby weight is going to be harder this time around, I can tell. Despite the breastfeeding, the weight is not dropping off the way it did the first time and my stomach seems much squishier (I guess being stretched to the gills twice really does a number on the old abdominals). Yes, I've lost a little more than half the weight, but I now seem to be stuck. I lost most of the weight the first two weeks and that's it. I'm going to have to really step up my exercise and eating right game if I ever hope to fit into my old clothes again.

Overall, we are doing well. We have our good days and we have our "challenging" days, but I know how fast this will all go and I'm trying to really enjoy this phase. With Will I dealt with some post-partum depression and really didn't get to enjoy his newborn phase as much as I wish I had. I've still had a bit of the baby blues this time around, but not as badly. I know how lucky and blessed we are to have two beautiful, healthy kids. What's there to be sad about--other than the loss of sleep?