There is a season...

I want to write blog posts. I really do. Posts about my kids and how they are growing up too quickly and the funny and annoying things they do on a daily basis. But I just can't seem to bring myself to post the pictures and funny memories right now. And there are lots of them, especially funny--and fun--memories. We have an incredible family and group of friends. But we're also in a season of craziness, with some worry thrown in there for good measure.

Some of you may remember that my husband was diagnosed with an extremely rare little disease called Fibromuscular Dysplasia (FMD) shortly after Will was born. Google it if you want to learn all the fun facts of this not-so-funny disorder. The FMD has affected our lives on and off since. Anyway, the ol' FMD has caused some issues these last few months (I'll spare you the details) and so we are headed back to Mayo Clinic in early November (where they actually have doctors who are studying this disease and tracking people around the country who have it) for a battery of tests and examinations. This is a very good thing, because one of the challenges of having FMD is that it can affect any artery in your body, which means you may have multiple doctors with multiple specialities trying to treat your symptoms. At a place like Mayo, since they study this disease, they take a look at the holistic picture, which is hard to get otherwise.

I also worry about our kids. So little is known about FMD, it's hard to determine if it's genetic or not. And there's really no way of knowing until an event happens, which I pray never does. Hopefully the chances are slim, so that's what I focus on.

And work. Oh, work. It has been such a source of pride and stress for both of us. Bill's job is intense. He travels most weeks and works most nights and weekends (source of stress.) But he's good at what he does and has been able to advance himself (source of pride.) My job has been up and down. My boss just quit (source of stress.) They asked me to be VP of Marketing (source of pride.) I told them no to doing it long term (as you may remember, I've been working part time, and this is very much a full-time position.), but I did agree to helping out in the short term as they figure out a long-term plan. This means I'm acting VP (source of pride), but I will be working full time for a few months (source of stress.) I'm excited about the opportunity and I love my team. No doubt the next few months will be fun and challenging at the same time since this is the first time I've worked full 40 hour weeks since my kids were born.

So I'm hoping once we get through this particularly crazy season of our family life, we will return to a semblance of normal. But really, what is normal? I've come to the conclusion that this is life. The craziness, the stress, the uncertainty, the love, the excitement, the joy. I'm trying to learn to embrace that instead of waiting until things are "calm" and "normal" because I have a feeling this is what normal looks like.

I just read an article on Stephen Colbert where he discusses the deaths of his father and two older brothers in a plane crash in the 70s (who knew? And how horrible!) He was 10 years old at the time, and he recalls how he didn't really grieve fully until he was 18. Despite that, he reveals that he keeps a card on his desk that says:

"Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God."

And then he went on to say:

"Joy can be hard....it's not the same thing as happiness (citing that his wife and daughters are the source of joy in his life.) I think happiness is overrated."

I love that, and I'm so thankful for my full, joyful life, even in the times when happiness may be fleeting.